They say change is the only constant. It is said that if you dare to grow accustomed to anything, let it be the idea of consistent fluctuations throughout life.

However, there’s another constant of the human experience: the fight for equal rights. That persistent struggle of the marginalized to be seen as “just as good”, or at the very least good enough, has been a part of our story since the beginning of time.

Over the years, the faces may have changed, but the battles remain the same. Rich versus poor, man versus woman, black versus white. And in the 21st century, these fights rage on. However, from this standpoint, it has become increasingly clear that being black has never been as difficult as being a woman.

Sexism and misogyny are much older and stronger than racism, and in many ways more insidious. Systemic racism has been a real problem in America since this nation’s birth, and the issue persists. But the issue is only a few hundred years old.

The archaic idea of what it means to be female — air-headed, domesticated, less educated, submissive, a man’s shadow — is a pervasive ideology that crosses cultural, racial and religious lines. And that belief has endured for millennia.

Today, racism is widely regarded as shameful, wrong, and deplorable. Sexism, on the other hand, is still the accepted and often overlooked status quo.

The Pitfalls of Misrepresentation

“Representation of the world, like the world itself, is the work of men; they describe it from their own point of view, which they confuse with the absolute truth.” -Simone de Beauvoir

Women and girls are grossly misunderstood the world over, and this is in large part due to the objectification, disenfranchisement and sexualization of women and girls.

One of the overarching characteristics of a patriarchal society is its tendency for male-dominated narcissism. In a man’s world, everything is for and about the man, including the existence and prevailing idea of what it means to be a woman.

In countless movies and television shows, women are often represented as stereotypical, hyper-feminine caricatures. More often than not, they’re portrayed as being emotionally unstable, overly-sensitive and thus quick to over-react, weak, catty, submissive, childish and/or particularly sexual.

 And any woman who is presented as being the exact opposite of all of those things — emotionally stable or rigid, insensitive, strong, mature, dominant, unamused and straight-forward — or in other words, any woman who presents the characteristics of a man, is represented as being a bitch.

Historically, the vast majority of Hollywood directors, writers and producers have been male.

The power of media representation lies not in the hands of the minority. This imbalance in positions of power leads to women, who are already grossly misunderstood, being defined by the very ones who choose to misunderstand them. There is danger in that, because when you take away one’s ability to self-identify in society, you take away one’s power.

The more women are seen as nothing more than objects for a man’s ogling, pleasure and comfort, the less we’ll be seen as complex and equal human beings. And if we aren’t seen as complex and equal human beings, why would anyone ever be interested in understanding us?

One main reason men fail to understand women is because of undeniable narcissism and privilege. Rather than males and females coexisting on a horizontal plane, there was set in place a long time ago — through use of religion and law — a vertical plane, or hierarchy, wherein men are born into the top spots, pushing women to the very bottom. There are slight variances based on race, class and religion, but women occupy the bottom nonetheless. This hierarchy has led to women being systematically excluded from positions of power, including the power to self-define. Women, therefore, are viewed through the lens of a man rather than being allowed to exist separately, in the realm of the woman.

Separate, but equal.

Pink Versus Blue

Though we have the courage to raise our daughters more like our sons, we’ve rarely had the courage to raise our sons like our daughters." -Gloria Steinem

Feminine and masculine energy are two entities that coexist in the minds of all. Ideally, a healthy person would embrace both energies, although some lean to one side more than the other. The problem, however, is that masculine traits have always been overvalued as strength — something to be proud of — while feminine traits have always been undervalued as weaknesses, or pesky things to be ashamed of.

As a result, women themselves fail to understand how powerful, valuable and beautifully different they are.

For decades, women have attempted to strive for greatness by trying to be better than men at being men. Particularly in the corporate world, they’ve learned to reject what makes them feminine, overcompensating the masculine traits in themselves — aggression, rigidity, lack of emotion — in an attempt to be identical to, and therefore equal to, their male counterparts. Over the years, we’ve seen some women turn their noses up to alleged “girly things” in an attempt to silently scream at men: “We can be men, too!” Meaning we can be powerful and valued, too. Or we can be just as good.

We’ve watched as those same women take personal offense at trivial matters such as gender differences in language — waiter vs. waitress, actor vs. actress — as if different somehow means less than. Ironically, a good amount of feminists feel that in rejecting gender differences, they’re fighting sexism when in reality, they’re being insidiously controlled by it.

The concept of dissolving gender differences may be well-intended, but is sorely misguided.

Women and men alike implicitly believe the feminine to be weaker and, therefore, acknowledgement of it is offensive. You can’t blame them. You can’t blame us. We’ve all been conditioned to associate the masculine with positive and the feminine with negative. How often are men berated for showing emotion with comments like “Stop acting like a bitch,” or “You’re being a pussy”? How common is it for someone to insult a man’s athletic ability by saying “You throw/hit/run like a girl”?

Even in the face of superstar athletes like Serena Williams or Ronda Rousey, or powerhouses like Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Michelle Obama, a girl is still the worst thing you can call a man.

Concerning homosexuality, many men don’t seem to take issue with lesbian relationships, yet tend to show varying levels of discomfort when it concerns gay male relationships.

Could it be that this is rooted in the sexual fantasies involving lesbian relations, whereas gay relations are viewed as an offense to masculinity? Because so much of what it means to be a man seems to be rooted in their relationships with women.

This historical preference of masculinity over femininity is damaging not only to the psyche of women, but of men. The way we require our men to hide, curb or completely disregard their emotions often leads to a lifetime of mental health struggles. These usually surface as depression, anxiety, consistently failing romantic relationships, unhealthy coping mechanisms such as alcoholism and drug abuse,uncontrollable anger and deep-rooted insecurities.

Add to that the stigma of seeking psychiatric help, and you’ve got yourself a toxic masculinity cocktail of high suicide rates and rampant violence.

The Feminine Mystique

Acceptance of the feminine, by women and men, is crucial to a strong and unified society. There’s power and strength in the feminine energy that should be exalted. Traditionally masculine traits — independence, sexual appetite, ambition, assertiveness, a logic over feelings mindset — are equally as valuable as feminine traits — compassion, gentleness, sweetness, vulnerability, and nurturance. They all play just as important a role in living a fulfilled, well-rounded life.

As a culture, we misunderstand what it means to be feminine. It is not being overly-emotional. On the contrary, the feminine is the energy that allows us to grow emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, and to be strong in those aspects. The feminine is the nurturer that allows us to care for and love others. It allows us to build and maintain relationships, and to communicate effectively.

To embrace the feminine is to empathize with and understand others. It’s the act of exuding life and warmth. Femininity is complex, strong, loving, and divine.

Feminine energy can be dominant too, but in a different way: it dominates not with aggressive demands but with loving persuasion. Femininity can be strong and aggressive, too, but in different ways. Is it possible to grow to a place where these differences can be widely appreciated and celebrated in both sexes? The endless effort to sort every person into rigid definitions of gender, into categories of pink or blue, is harmful to the ultimate goal of human existence: unity.

And unity and understanding starts with the rejection of the notion that the feminine is in any way less than. The Feminist Movement that hit the mainstream in the 1960’s and 1970’s set in motion a new wave for women and girls around the world. Progress has been made, but in many parts of the world, it’s still painstakingly slow.

We’ve begun to build momentum. The question is, where do we go from here?