The Missing Link

Pick any moment in human history—any life story, any triumph or heartbreak, any childhood memory—and you will find at its root the human need for love. It’s why we exist. Connection. Understanding. Intimacy. Family. Compassion.

We wouldn’t be human were it not for our tendency to crave and, therefore, our capacity to foster, some semblance of love in our lives. And love looks different to different people but at the end of the day, it’s the red string that connects us all.

Our biological need for it is so innate and potent that the moments or spans of time when we don’t have it are seared into our memories forever. The loss of true love and belonging is a universal pain and is one of the few experiences we can all relate to and empathize with.

On the surface, the following stories are first-hand accounts of American racism: how it was taught, how it felt, what it looked and sounded like, where it happened and the lasting effects it had. The persons recounting the tales range in age from 18 to 80 and I’m grateful to them all for taking the time to document their truths.

These are tales of traditional hatred, yes, but at the core of each one of these complex stories lies a simple, persistent factor: a lack of love.

A lack of love for others and a lack of love for ourselves. The absence of acceptance, compassion, altruism, listening, seeing, or forgiving. Too little love is the root of too many of the world’s problems and we can’t change that.

But what we can do is challenge ourselves, in a million different ways, to contribute to the light in this world rather than the shadows. To train our eyes to always see the heart of an issue and lean into acceptance and understanding rather than judgments.

As you read through the following collection of stories, consider why these memories stuck with the storytellers after all these years. Ask yourself, “What was replacing love here, and how can we do better?” And remember: read from the heart.